Letter to my darling PIXIE

I experienced resilience, strength, and unconditional love with Pixie who in these 9 years taught me to embrace peace in my life no matter what is going on around me. We lost Pixie on 12 Feb’23. Here is my tribute to her.

Dear Pixie,

It’s been eight days since you left us and crossed the rainbow bridge. I am writing this letter to try and let you go. For some reason, I am unable to find peace.

Sometimes it feels like a dream, but I don’t know what kind. Half the time it’s like I’m in the middle of a bad dream, but maybe I’ll wake up and see you on my bed. Or maybe I’ll look over right now and see you lying by my chair.

Sometimes it’s like you were just a dream. I want to fall asleep again and hope that I re-start that same dream. Was it really nine years ago that I first saw you? We were supposed to have another two or three, or maybe even five years to hang out and go for walks, talk, travel, or play, or was that all just a happy dream?

I cried when you passed away, I still cry everyday – although I loved you deeply, couldn’t make you stay.

A golden heart stopped beating, Tiny little Paws at rest. God broke my heart to only prove he takes the best.

I still remember the feeling I felt, when I first saw you as a tiny little pup at the adoption centre, Delhi. With you, the conversations were magical. I just want you know that all my happiest memories are with you. The day I adopted you, I found my missing piece – you completed me and made me a better person. Thank you for coming into my life! Maybe I wasn’t the perfect father for you, but I did everything in my power to make you happy.

Time made me realise choosing you was one of the best decisions of my life. You made me believe in myself when everyone gave up on me. You taught me compassion, love without conditions and boundaries, caring and sharing. Maybe someday, somewhere we will meet again.

But for now, I will keep you safe in my thoughts and I will always remember you for as long as my heart beats. I walk around the house and I feel something is missing. You aren’t there to greet me, and no tail wagging. Life will never be the same. Quiet empty home –my tiny little girl now sleeps peacefully.

A quote, I read, “You don’t know what you have, until it’s gone. Truth, is you knew exactly what you had, you just never thought, you would lose it.”

As far as I can see, grief will never truly end, it may become softer over time, gentler. Grief will last as long as love does “Forever”.

I love you Pixie, may you find happiness and lots of time to run and play in the rainbow.Hopefully, I will find you in my dreams and heal from this loss.

You will always be “Daddy’s Little Girl”.I promise to see you on the other side when the time is right.

Unexpected Goodbye

Forever in My Heart

Teejay